dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I can't turn off my feet"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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