You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
