I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
