I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
