Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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