I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Damn victory sex feels great
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
