you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
