Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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