maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
