Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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