Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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