it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
