You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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