Who did Billy Mays play for?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
