We're facebook friends in real life
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
