Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
