google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
