ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
