After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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