i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
