this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
