i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
