he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
