My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
worst night to have a conscience
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
