woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
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