Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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