eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
