she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
