Got a toothbrush?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
