don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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