Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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