Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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