ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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