Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you never un-have a 4some
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?