i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
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I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.