..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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