I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
