I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
