i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
