in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
