Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
