whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
How external is "for external use only"?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
