we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
