I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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