So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
