Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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