I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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