garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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