We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
