There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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