she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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