:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
