wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize