I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
