He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
