why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
