Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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