my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
don't judge my taste in strippers
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
