If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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