it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize
